


Gone

by Akitir_chan09



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Asshole Akihiko, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, M/M, Misaki suffers, Poor Misaki, Suicide, The Author Regrets Everything, i love my bbys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 16:41:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16896234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akitir_chan09/pseuds/Akitir_chan09
Summary: "I loved you. I love you and I always will." Sorry for short summary. Two-shot.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! This story is just written for my self satisfaction cuz I need some angst. Also, let's just say Takahiro already knows about Misaki's and Akihiko's relationship. Anyway, I love these two and I could probably die for them. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> I do not own Junjou Romantica.

“Misaki? Where are you?”, Takahiro called out for his younger brother. It had been almost three weeks since Misaki had moved back in with Takahiro and his family. The reason? You'll get to know. 

Takahiro made his way into Misaki's room and found an envelope lying around on the bed, addressed to him. Curious, he opened the letter and began reading it.

Nii-chan,

By the time you read this, I will be long gone. Promise me you won't mourn or grieve for me but instead live life to its fullest, be a great father to Mahiro and a loving husband to Nee-chan.

I'm sorry I'm so weak, but the pain is unbearable. I tried so hard Nii-chan, so hard to overcome this pain but I failed. I failed you in life and for that I'm sorry. 

I have been a burden to everyone all my life, I realise that now yet I tried to look forward, to be optimistic but there's only so much I can do. I know this must sound very rude after all that you've done for me but please, let me be selfish, just this one time. 

Thank you for being such a great brother, for sticking with me whenever I needed you, for giving up your dreams to help build my future. You have a family now, and my departure will take away only a small part of your family away. 

I have one last request. Please tell Usagi-san that he was the light of my life, my love, my rabbit. Tell him I'm sorry for not being able to express my emotions, my affection towards him. Tell him that he will be the only man I've ever loved and that I'm sorry for not being the lover he was proud of.

I'm sorry Nii-chan, but I must leave. I will soon meet our parents in heaven, we have a lot of catching up to do. We will meet again. Till then, farewell.

I love you, Nii-chan.

\---***---

At the same time

Misaki was waiting outside Akihiko's apartment. The doorman had said he had gone out and would soon return. He sat on a nearby bench recalling the events that had happened 3 weeks ago. 

*Flashback*

Misaki was sitting on the sofa, waiting for Akihiko to come back home. He had been going out very often and would come back home very late. Misaki wondered what the reason was but never asked Akihiko because he didn't want to restrict Akihiko's freedom or invade his privacy by bombarding him with questions. But that day… was a day when Misaki's life changed forever.

Akihiko had come home alright, pretty early too, but he was not alone. With him was a man almost his height, with dark brown hair which almost looked black, steel gray eyes and a well built physique. 

“Misaki, meet Kazunari. He’s a new editor being trained by Aikawa and also… my new lover.” Misaki couldn't believe what he had heard. New lover? Wasn't Misaki his lover? What was happening?

“E-eh? U-usagi-san am I not your lover?”, Misaki's voice was trembling. He thought it was all a dream but a pinch later he realised that what was happening was real. He couldn't hold back his tears and before he knew it, they rolled down his cheeks.

“Honestly Misaki, I don't know anymore. I don't even know if you love me. You always push me away, say harsh stuff and never portray any feeling of affection towards me and I'm tired of it. Alright? I'm tired of you. Kazunari here, he's.. a much better man than you are. A man who's intelligent and doesn't shy away from loving me unlike you.”

“H-how could you? You didn't have to do it this way… you could've told me you found someone else and told me to fuck off. You didn't.. have to.. show him to me, you didn't have to break up with me.. this way.” Misaki was sobbing at this point. This man who had once told him he loved him had now abandoned him. Misaki thought he had finally found the one person whom he could spend the rest of his life with… but it seems the other person did not feel the same way.

“Oh just stop it Misaki. We're done. We're over. Pack your things and leave. Don't you ever show your face here again.”, Akihiko had sternly said. It seems he really didn't love Misaki anymore.

*Flashback end*

Misaki just wanted to see Akihiko's face for the last time. Soon enough, he saw him crossing the road, hand in hand with Kazunari, with a smile that broke Misaki's heart into a million pieces. 

Akihiko barely noticed Misaki but when he did, he was livid with rage.

“Misaki! Didn't I tell you I never wanted to see your damn face again? Why must you burden me all the time? Just let me be and fuck off.” 

“Don't worry, Usagi-san. This is the last time you'll ever see me or hear from me again.”, Misaki smiled sadly and slowly moved away, inching closer to the busy road that lay just behind him, “I loved you Usagi-san, I always will.”

By the time he had finished his sentence he was already standing in the middle of the road. The furious honks of a truck coming in full speed towards Misaki seemed to fall on deaf ears. Before the truck had hit Misaki, he mouthed a few words.

“Sayonara, Usagi-san”

Before Akihiko had realised what had happened, he saw people rushing towards Misaki who lay dead in a pool of blood. People had crowded around him, some people calling the ambulance while others trying to save his life. Akihiko pushed his way through the crowd and saw Misaki on the ground.

He would never open his beautiful emerald green eyes anymore. He was…

Gone.


	2. Piece of me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Focuses on the aftermath of the accident.

“I'm sorry but there was no way of saving him. He died on spot. I'm sorry for your loss.”, The doctor, who had tended to Misaki when he was rushed to the Emergency room, said to Takahiro, “You may see his body now.”

Takahiro entered the pristine white room that smelt of alcohol and medical spirit, only to see his brother lying in the table covered up with a white sheet. As he moved closer, Misaki's face seemed to blend in with his surroundings, all blood had left his face leaving him pale, indicating that all life had left his body. 

Akihiko had arrived at the hospital with Misaki, in the ambulance. He hadn't dared to go in, until Takahiro had arrived. He stood behind Takahiro, too scared to look at Misaki but slowly moved forward. Misaki's pale and lifeless face seemed to drain Akihiko of all his energy. Memories of the time they spent together flooded his mind.

It's your fault that I'm crying!

I'm not Nii-chan’s replacement!

Don't speak bad about Usagi-san!

I love you… maybe.

Sayonara, Usagi-san.

Akihiko's heart clenched. Misaki's light pink blush would never adorn his cheeks again, his green orbs would never look into his purple eyes, his beautiful cookie-like smell would never linger around the house again. Akihiko regretted everything he had done, since the time he'd met Misaki. The first time they'd met, he had forcefully pushed himself on Misaki, he never gave Misaki his privacy, he was the reason he didn't have many friends and… now he was the reason Misaki killed himself. 

It wasn't long before everyone exited the room. The moment Akihiko had been dreading had finally arrived, his confrontation with Takahiro. 

“T-Takahiro… I'm sorry. I.. I know my apology won't bring Misaki back, but I'm sorry. I-It’s my fault… he… did that.” Akihiko couldn't speak properly, he was choking on his own words, tears clouded his eyes and he couldn't look up at Takahiro. He was expecting to be hit, to be yelled at by Takahiro; Hell, he was even prepared if Takahiro said he didn't want to be friends anymore which was understandable. After all, who would want to spend another minute around the man whose actions had killed their younger brother.

Takahiro was devastated. His younger brother died. Everything around him seemed to fade away. All he could think about was Misaki. The green-eyed boy, about 9 years old, who had tried making food for his tired older brother and ended up ruining the kitchen, the teenage boy who had worked so hard to get into M University. Now there would be none of that. There was no.. Misaki and Takahiro felt as if a part of him had died along with his brother. He could see Akihiko standing in front of him and surprisingly, he didn't feel anything.Takahiro knew what happened between Misaki and Akihiko and he saw how his younger brother struggled to deal with his heartbreak. Misaki was a sensitive boy and after his parents’ death he tried hard not to hurt anybody yet why was he always the one who was hurt? Why was Misaki always the only one in pain? He didn't deserve any of it, he didn't deserve the way Akihiko broke up with him, he didn't deserve the heartbreak. His sadness soon turned into anger towards the silver-haired man standing before him.

“Live with it. Live with the fact that you killed Misaki. He would never blame you but I do. I left him to you because you were the first person outside our family who gave him love and just like that, you took it away from him. You took him away from me. I can't forgive you for that. I'm not as strong as Misaki nor do I have such a big heart to forgive you.” Takahiro seemed to pierce Akihiko's heart with each word he uttered. “Here, he left this for you.” With that, Takahiro handed him a piece of paper specifically addressed to Akihiko and turned around to walk away. It was in the same envelope Misaki had left for Takahiro, it was his final request.

Akihiko had unfolded the paper and read its contents.

Usagi-san,

I know you told me you never wanted to see me or hear from me again but this is the last time. I'm sorry but please, read this till the end.

You gave me love, warmth and comfort in the years that I have known you and for that I'm truly grateful. You helped me when I was feeling down, you made me feel that it was okay to depend on somebody but the most important thing of all, you taught me how to love.

I don't know where I went wrong, probably my stupidity and lack of confidence was the reason, that our relationship broke apart. I'm sorry I couldn't be your ideal lover and I'm sorry you had to waste your time on me. You were right Usagi-san, after we broke up I contemplated about what you had said. I never really did say I love you. 

This was my choice, I would never blame you for this, my suicide. All I have to say is thank you for leaving me with happy memories and thank you for loving me. I hope you and Kazunari-san are as happy as I was when I was with you. Please be happy Usagi-san, meet your deadlines and don't forget to take care of yourself but above all, find prosperity and success in all that you do. 

Thank you Usagi-san, for letting me love you.

Goodbye.

A large teardrop stained the sheet. Akihiko was never one to cry in public, but this time, it was different. He didn't care where he was, all he knew and felt was guilt eating away at him. Even though he was so rude to Misaki, the younger boy still cared for him. Akihiko was appalled by himself for the way he had treated Misaki.

\---***---

A couple of days later, Takahiro and his family held a funeral for Misaki. Akihiko had attended along with Kazunari dressed in black formals, a sign of respect for the deceased. He knew he couldn't love Kazunari the same way he loved Misaki and he knew it wouldn't be long before their relationship came to an end.

Akihiko didn't speak a word. Ever since the day he had come back from the hospital, he didn't utter a word. He spent his day smoking cigarettes, almost two packs a day, locked in his office. He killed Misaki. He killed the pure-hearted young boy. He killed Takahiro's younger brother. He killed a boy who had his whole life to live. It was only after Misaki had died that Akihiko had come to realise that he still loved him. It was out of anger or sexual frustration that he had cheated on Misaki, that he had broken up with him for another man. At that time, he didn't think of the consequences. He knew Misaki was sensitive yet he still did that. He couldn't imagine the pain he had put his younger lover through and for what? Better sex with another guy he had just known for a week or so? It was Akihiko who deserved to die, not Misaki.

Takahiro had decided that he would cremate Misaki's body, instead of burying him. His brother deserved to be free from this world and its disgusting people. Misaki's place was up there with the birds, up there in heaven. He had tried being strong for Misaki but he couldn't. He just couldn't stop his tears from falling. He screamed silently, he screamed in pain, his heart was falling apart, HE was falling apart. Manami was deeply saddened too. Misaki was a younger brother to her too and whenever Misaki would meet them, they would always cook together and she would always tell him that he was a better cook. Mahiro was too young to understand. He couldn't understand why everyone around him was crying, why his parents were crying but he knew that it was something related to Misaki. The sullen atmosphere had forced Mahiro to cry.

Akihiko had stayed till the end of Misaki's cremation. Tears fell. He stood there silently, looking into the distance. 

He knew that along with Misaki, a piece of him had died too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THERE IT IS. I hope you guys enjoyed it. To be honest, I feel like I didn't accurately capture Takahiro's feelings but I tried. Tell me what you guys think Takahiro should've done!


End file.
